Sunday, July 29, 2007

I'm ready to have this baby!

We are moving right along. Every thing is going well. At this point I weigh 146 lbs. and I was at about 125 before I got pregnant. I am exactly where I should be as far as weight- gain. I feel huge, but I know I'm not gaining any more than I should be.

I've been experiencing some rather intense back pain, but I just try to breathe through it and remember that it isn't going to last forever. I also get a pinched feeling in my ribs whenever I sit for longer than 15 minutes. Needless to say, riding in the car is not fun at all. I can't even stand to watch TV or read a book for a long time. I don't know what the pinching is, but nothing helps it to go away except standing up or laying down.

She is still very active and she enjoys kicking me right in the bladder. I'm going to have to pack an extra pair of underwear in my purse just in case she makes anything come out!

Otherwise, no news here. Every thing is going smoothly. I have a feeling that she's going to be post- date. I think I'm going to have an October baby.

-Alicia

Monday, July 23, 2007

Stubborn little girl!

Cambria has learned to play a very fun, yet sometimes painful, game! Last night Cody and I were lying in the bed cuddling with our dog, Kemah, and Cambria started moving around a lot. I told Cody to look at my belly because you could see her moving. He put his hand on my belly and she stopped like usual. Cody pressed into her and she kicked back. We laughed and Cody was amazed at how distinctly you could feel her body. He pushed again and after a pause, she pushed back. These weren't just kicks that felt like my stomach was twitching, it was clearly an intentional push against Cody's hand. Cody spread his fingers out and poked with one finger. Every time he poked, Cambria would push/kick back. He would poke with his next finger and she would poke back. If she moved to a different spot, Cody would follow her, push into her gently and she would push back- not so gently! One time she even moved against his whole hand so it felt like she was rolling over into his hand. The whole experience was very fascinating and entertaining. Cody put his mouth on my stomach and pushed in and sure enough, Cambria kicked him in the mouth! The two of them played this game for quite awhile. Of course once Cody got the camera, she was done playing.

All of this activity, as usual, happened on the left side of my stomach. Some times my left side gets sore because that's really the only place she likes being. I've learned how to push her away from that left side, but it only takes a few moments before she pushes her way back over. She is definitely a very stubborn little girl! The harder I push her, the harder she pushes back. For the most part, I enjoy this little game. But some times if she gets a little too high into my ribs or too low into my bladder, I can get uncomfortable. She's got a definite personality.

The other night I am pretty sure we felt the hiccups. Again we were lying in the bed and my stomach felt like it was just twitching very rhythmically. I told Cody to scare them out of her, but he didn't think it would work. I think he just didn't want to be mean :-p

Every once in awhile if there is a loud noise, I will feel her jump. I was watching TV yesterday and the movie was so quiet I had the TV up really loud. Then the character turned the stereo up really loud and the TV blared a country song. Cambria jumped and began wiggling around. She went back to being still just a moment after that, so I think it startled her. I turned the TV down after that.

Today at work I am going to count how many times I say the word "September". Now that I am showing very noticeably everyone feels the need to ask questions. This is a typical conversation between a customer and myself on a normal day:
Customer: "When are you due?"
Me: "September"
Customer: "Aww! Do you know what you're having?"
Me: "Yes, it's a girl."
Customer: "Aww! Do you have a name picked out?"
Me: "Yes. Her name will be Cambria."
Customer: "That's so pretty!"
Then they will either go on to tell me about how either they, their sister, their aunt, their cousin, or their best friend has recently had a baby or they will proceed to tell me their horror story about giving birth. My favorite customers are the customers who simply say, "Well, good luck and you look great!" So tonight I'm going to count how many times I say "September" because even if they don't ask all the other questions, they ask about my due date.

I hope everyone is doing well and I can't wait to get this baby out of me and into this world!

-Alicia

Veronica, to Lydia and I: "Who has the oldest baby in them?"
Hahahahahahaha.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Complaints, baby shower, and a special note to "Hubbin"

I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my ribs hurt, my neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, I have headaches, my new vitamins make me nauseous, I'm constipated, I'm tired all the time, I'm hot all the time, I'm irritable, emotional, clumsy, forgetful, starving all the time, and I'm tired of being this big. It's difficult to shave my legs, walk for long distances, blow dry my hair, clip my toenails, sit down for a long period of time, get out of a chair, get out of bed, roll over in bed, and many other things I always took for granted. I'm tired of complaining, but I'm tired of having something to complain about.

We had our baby shower Saturday and it was a smash hit. We were really blessed with all the great things everyone got us. Some of the highlights: crib mobile, jumperoo, antique rocking chair, walker, bottles, boppy pillow, baby monitor, soothing motions glider, and plenty more clothes and other great items. We returned a few things at Babies 'R Us and got some more bottles, crib bumpers, and a diaper champ (we couldn't figure out our genie!). However, the diaper champ seems to not be working properly, so we're going to exchange it when we get a chance to go out there again. We also returned some things at Target and we got a bottle rack, more bottles, and plastic bibs. At K-Mart, we returned a few things and got socks and hats. We did very well for ourselves :-) Despite all these lovely things, there are still a few important items that we need to get before Cambria comes. The main thing we really need is a nice car seat (we have one, but it doesn't have a canopy) and a stroller. We don't absolutely NEED a stroller right away, but I do need a car seat. I feel very panicked that I don't have a good car seat or a stroller. Car seats are, for us, very expensive. Lydia has promised me that she's going to buy me my breast pump before Cambria comes, so I'm not worried about that. My favorite gift from the shower was a hand- knitted baby afghan from Cody's uncle that has Cambria's name knitted onto it. It is so unique and pretty!

Everyone was so generous giving to us and I owe a lot of people some big thank- yous. I had a lot of fun at the shower and it was nice to catch up with everyone. I was really happy that Cody's family made it out for the shower, too.

Tomorrow I'm going to call about signing up for Lamaze classes through my doctor's office. My doctor told me that when you go to classes you get points to get free baby items and I love free baby items! We've been going to parenting classes in Akron every Tuesday night for awhile and we've been able to get some really nice things for free (swing, playmat, onesies, blankets, diapers, dresses, tights, shoes, and more). The classes have been really informative and I like them a lot. So if I get lamaze training and free stuff... bonus!

Today I realized it's only Tuesday and it feels like Sunday is a long time away and 31 weeks will never be here. Then it will never be 32, 33... and getting to 40 will be an eternity. I can't decide if the first trimester or the third is the worst. I would have to say the first probably because of all the wedding chaos and I had a horrible cold. At least in my third trimester I can comfort myself with food.

I wish we could afford for me to take maternity leave, though, because I don't know how I'm going to handle work for much longer. I need the money and so I need the hours, but it's exhausting. The customers can be very sweet sometimes, but it gets old to be hearing "Oh, you're so cute!" when I feel sweaty, tired, swollen, and grumpy. I know they mean well and it's nice of them, but I just want to scream at them, "I don't feel cute! I feel huge! I want this baby out of me!" Instead I smile and thank them politely. Most days I don't feel like smiling and asking them if they need help. I feel like crying and telling everyone else that they need to help me. Any time a customer makes my job more difficult, I want to point at my belly and say, "have some compassion!" Carry your own clothes to the fitting rooms, pick up a shirt if you've dropped it on the floor, don't come to the desk and ask if we have it... go look for it yourself, and be patient if I make a mistake- I'm tired. People I meet on the street are nicer to me than customers that I'm trying to help at work. A woman was waiting to get into the fitting room the other day and she snapped, "Does anybody work here?" If I were these people, I wouldn't be irritating a pregnant woman. It just isn't safe.

I apologize that I complain so much. I'm not usually so rude and I don't usually have such awful thoughts about customers, I'm just really tired of waiting on everyone else while I'm pregnant. Customer service just isn't a job for a pregnant woman. I have been complaining about all my aches and pains, too, and I should just be grateful that God has blessed us with this pregnancy and this little girl that we can't wait to meet. I lose sight of the good things some times and I start to feel very hopeless. Especially when I think of our financial situation and about how long I have left in this pregnancy, I get very depressed. I'm sure many of you scan over such boring, self- loathing blogs, but I guess it's therapeutic for me.

I would like to say, though, that my wonderful husband has been so good to me throughout this pregnancy. If I need a glass of water, he jumps up to get it. If I need a baking- soda bath, he keeps me company while I soak. If I start sobbing for no apparent reason, he's there to cuddle me back to smiles. He has been patient, attentive, and supportive. He happily goes baby shopping with me, reads to Cambria every night, and makes sure all of my food cravings are fulfilled. He goes to every doctor's appointment and parenting class. He buys me maternity underwear :-) and picks out cute maternity shirts for me. It's cliche to say so, but it's like I'm married to a best friend. Every night is a slumber party and everything we do is just a fun day together. We have our arguments and disagreements, but when it comes down to it, there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. I've seen other couples (other girls) whose husbands aren't nearly as supportive and attentive as mine and I know I'm just the luckiest girl in the world. He has made all of the unbearable symptoms of pregnancy a little more tolerable. So, Cody... I love you very much. Thank you for your patience and please keep it up just a little longer... we're almost there!

Less than 10 full weeks to go. I'm going to take a deep breath and focus on the good things.

-Alicia

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Unbearable Pain

Cody said I should be more reserved about telling people that I have hemorrhoids, but hey, it's part of pregnancy and if I have to suffer through the agonizing pain, you can deal with reading about it. This blog is intended to document all the ups and downs of my pregnancy, and this is definitely the lowest I've been. The pain is honestly unbearable. I have tried everything: bathing in baking soda, preparation H, preparation H with cortisone, ice packs, tylenol, witch hazel... I've done it all. In the beginning the baths with baking soda helped, but now they don't. Last night I sat in the bathtub crying and begging God to stop the pain. I can't even describe to you how bad it hurts.

I went to my doctor and she examined them and she said they were very "inflamed" and she referred me to a specialist. However, that specialist is so busy that he can't fit me in until September 6th- what's the point?! I have tried all her suggested treatments and nothing is working at all. I need some serious help. The pain is exhausting. Everytime I sneeze, cough, laugh, sit, stand, shower, drive, walk... it shoots excrutiating pain through my body and it takes my breath away. I can't work like this- I don't know how I could possibly complete a full shift on my feet with this awful pain.

My family has been here trying to get ready for the baby shower and I had a breakdown when my mom asked me to start helping. I laid in bed and cried and cried to Cody about how awful the pain was and just the idea of bending over to pick things up off the floor was terrifying to me. I limp around the house pitifully and I try to laugh it off. I am so appreciative of all the help that my sister, my mom, and Lydia have been as they get the house ready for this baby shower. It has been a lot of work cleaning the house and I'm sure they've been slightly irritated with my lack of help. I don't blame them. If you've never had one of these then it's difficult for you to sympathize. For some reason people think that these things are funny. Nobody here is laughing at my expense or anything, but I still feel like some people don't take it seriously. They don't want to hear about it because it's awkward.

I have been taking sleeping pills the last couple of nights because the pain is so bad that it keeps me awake if I don't take something. I take a bath in baking soda, take two tylenol, try a cream or witch hazel, drink water, take a sleeping pill and try to suck it up. This is the longest lasting one that I've ever had. The doctor said she would call me on monday to see if it's cleared up. I'm sure it will only have gotten worse by that time. I guess that isn't a lot of faith. I really have been praying very hard for God to at least get me through the pain. I'm so tired of hurting. Pain is exhausting.

I probably just annoyed you with all this whinning, but if you only knew... I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Despite all of this, I know that Cambria is worth every ache and pain and that it won't last forever. After all the pain is gone I will still have a beautiful little girl to spend the rest of my life with. I'm trying to stay optimistic, but it's difficult. At least today at my baby shower I get lots of yummy food and nice gifts! I'm excited and very grateful for all the work everyone's done as I sit and suffer.

Sidenote: Elisha, thanks for the sweet comment on the last post- I appreciate your prayers and support and I hope you enjoy this blog :-)

-Alicia

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Movements

I can't even begin to tell you how fascinating everything is. She has become extremely active and it doesn't seem to matter if I'm laying down, standing up, or taking a shower. She is still most active while we are settling in for bed, but her movements are limited to the evening anymore. Some times she makes such a strong movement that my eyes go big and I look down at my stomach almost expecting to see a footprint or a handprint pressed against my stomach. Yesterday while Cody and I were sitting and waiting for our pizza to finish cooking, she kicked me in the ribs. I've never felt her kick in the ribs and I pray to God that I never feel that again. It was so forceful and sharp, it took my breath away.

In the beginning, when she first started moving, I had to push into my stomach with my fingers to feel any kind of movement. Now, however, I can just rest my hand on it and I can feel everything. Also, recently, I've felt her in two different places at once, which I never had before. The only explanation is that she is stretching and I am feeling her head on my left side and her feet on my right side. I can feel two little nubs on the right side and one little nub on the left, so I can usually guess how she's laying. I can't put into words the feeling I get when I feel her moving around. My mind is finally starting to grasp the fact that she is real and she is already the person God intended for her to be. Every once in awhile I don't enjoy the kicking because it feels so awkward, but for the most part, it makes me smile and I want to let other people feel it, too.

Cody still reads to her every night. We got a library card and we got some more Dr. Seuss and some Shel Silverstein. She seems to move the most when Cody's reading to her. He can hold the book in one hand and put his other hand on my stomach and it really feels like she's dancing around in joy at the sound of her daddy's voice. She either really loves being read to or she's fighting us to shut up. But we've decided that she must be dancing and she loves it.

Today at work I had to take a lot of breaks because I've been getting some really bad back pains. I don't want to take tylenol unless I really need to, so I just put up with the pain. I get this sharp pain that seems to shoot through my front into my back, it starts in my rib cage on the right side and sticks through to my back. Unfortunately, it isn't a sharp shot, it's a sharp pain that lasts for awhile and I try to rub it out with my thumb. Also, I get out of breath very easily. I could be standing behind the counter at work doing nothing or I could be lying down to relax and I feel so out of breath that I think I just ran a mile. I read in one of my books that this is a normal symptom of pregnancy along with a pounding heart that I also get. Some times I don't know how I'm going to make it through until September.

So Saturday is my baby shower. My last baby shower in Canton was so much fun and I really appreciate all the awesome gifts I got. I was surprised how many people stuck to my registry. I'm hoping that people have stuck to my registry this time and I can get a few things I need. I know people love buying baby clothes, but I'm afraid that's all I will get. I don't know if I should check my registry or just let myself be surprised. I have a lot of house cleaning to do before saturday, so tomorrow should be spent doing that. Friday morning I have a doctor's appointment.

If you didn't check out the video in my last entry, I really urge you to do it! A lot of people have watched it over and over and I just think it is so awesome! I've been trying to get another video like it, but Cambria isn't cooperating :-p She's a little camera- shy.

Well, I just wanted to keep you all updated and let you know that our little girl is doing wonderfully. Thank you all for your unending support and keep us in your prayers as we set out on the last ten weeks of pregnancy!

-Alicia

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Terrifying!

Two nights ago, I struggled through some panic and went between sleeping and waking, hopeful that I would feel Cambria kick. I hadn't felt her kick all day and I was waiting patiently to feel anything. I didn't feel her on the inside or the outside and I was trying every thing I knew to do to make her move. I danced around singing and then laid very still. I ate food, drank water, sang to her, read to her, and I didn't feel anything. I was so nervous. Cody put his hands on my tummy and tried to feel her kicking and he couldn't feel anything either. He offered to take me to the ER, but I didn't want to be paranoid. So I tried to fall asleep and I was just hoping to feel something through the night. I woke up the next morning defeated. I hadn't felt anything and she hadn't woken me up like usual to go to the bathroom. So I called my doctor. Of course, my doctor wasn't in that day, so I talked to a nurse. She set up an appointment right away and told me to drink a glass of orange juice on the way to the hospital. My mom, Cody, and I piled into the car and I guzzled down some OJ.

They hooked me up to a "tracing" machine. As soon as they put the doppler on my stomach and I heard that little heartbeat, I was flooded with relief. The nurse explained that as long as Cambria's heartrate was going up as she was moving (just as mine would if I were moving), she was getting enough nutrients and oxygen. After tracking it for awhile, they said everything was reassuring and sent me home.

They told me to keep a count of her kicks within one hour after I eat. The first hour, I felt her kick 12 times and I was surprised. However, they weren't very strong. That night (last night) Cody and I laid down for the hour together and sure enough, she kicked 45 times!!! She kicked so hard that we could see my stomach jumping. If you want to see it, go here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=12449693

Now I'm so tired and hungry I've got to run. I will update with more later.

-Alicia
PS- let me know if anyone needs a shower invitation!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Medicaid, weight- gain, and Runny Babbit!




Thank God- I was approved for medicaid! This is such a huge relief. I didn't have any medical insurance and I was worried about being denied at my doctor's office because my bills were piling up too high. Now I have coverage! Now I need to contact my hospital and ask them if they can send some of my bills to Medicaid.

Otherwise, nothing too new is happening. The third trimester hasn't treated me too badly so far. I've been really tired again, but it's still not as bad as it was in the first trimester. I'm also growing more quickly than I knew was possible. Cody will be back from Texas on Tuesday and he's going to be shocked at how big I've become! All the sweet customers at work are always telling me I'm the cutest pregnant girl they've ever seen. I must have had 10 women tell me I was "adorable" yesterday. Other ladies just look at me and instantly smile big. It's nice to know I can bring some joy to people just by looking at me. One woman said "I know you probably don't feel like it, but you look so cute!" I told her I didn't feel too bad, I've had an easy pregnancy and I have nothing to complain about.

Yesterday at work, I was standing and talking to one of my co- workers and I pointed out a dress that I like. I said I was thinking about buying it for my baby shower if it would fit. She said, "Yeah, but that's Missy size." I said "So?" She looked at me with her eyebrows raised, "Don't you wear plus?" Shocked and kind of hurt, I muttered, "No." I explained that I could wear an extra- large right now in Juniors sizes if I really wanted to. With her jaw dropping she looked me over and said, "Really?!" I said, "Yeah. I used to be pretty small before I got pregnant." Again, with shock written all over her face, she said "Really?!" The conversation ended there. Later I tried the dress on in Missy size in a size 8 and it fit rather nicely. I don't know why she thought I would wear plus sizes. I couldn't even fit into a 14/16 if I wanted to. I was shocked that she was so blunt... and so wrong. Being pregnant just makes people think that they have the right to comment on your weight anytime they want. Mostly I get good comments, but that one was pretty bad. Whenever someone says "You're getting so big!" I always say, "No, I'm not, Cambria is. And that's good... she needs to grow." I'm trying to approach this weight- gain positively despite what anyone may say.

Two nights ago, I attempted to read "Runny Babbit" by Shel Silverstein to Cambria. However, the book was so amusing to me that I had to apologize halfway through the book and put it down- I was laughing too hard! I don't know why I thought it was so funny, but it's just hysterical! I love that little Runny! It's a book full of spoonerisms and it's just so entertaining to read. So I read a "goodnight" book to her, sang her a song, and we drifted off to sleep together. I suppose I don't know if she was asleep, but I was, so that's all that matters right now :-p

On that same night that I read "Runny Babbit", I was talking to Cambria and I said, "OK, Kemah... crap! I knew I was going to do that! You're name is CAMBRIA. The dog's name is Kemah! Sorry, Cambria!" It's already starting.

Well, my dinner's ready... so I'll update again later.

And YES, the shower is officially on July 14th now.
-Alicia