I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my ribs hurt, my neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, I have headaches, my new vitamins make me nauseous, I'm constipated, I'm tired all the time, I'm hot all the time, I'm irritable, emotional, clumsy, forgetful, starving all the time, and I'm tired of being this big. It's difficult to shave my legs, walk for long distances, blow dry my hair, clip my toenails, sit down for a long period of time, get out of a chair, get out of bed, roll over in bed, and many other things I always took for granted. I'm tired of complaining, but I'm tired of having something to complain about.
We had our baby shower Saturday and it was a smash hit. We were really blessed with all the great things everyone got us. Some of the highlights: crib mobile, jumperoo, antique rocking chair, walker, bottles, boppy pillow, baby monitor, soothing motions glider, and plenty more clothes and other great items. We returned a few things at Babies 'R Us and got some more bottles, crib bumpers, and a diaper champ (we couldn't figure out our genie!). However, the diaper champ seems to not be working properly, so we're going to exchange it when we get a chance to go out there again. We also returned some things at Target and we got a bottle rack, more bottles, and plastic bibs. At K-Mart, we returned a few things and got socks and hats. We did very well for ourselves :-) Despite all these lovely things, there are still a few important items that we need to get before Cambria comes. The main thing we really need is a nice car seat (we have one, but it doesn't have a canopy) and a stroller. We don't absolutely NEED a stroller right away, but I do need a car seat. I feel very panicked that I don't have a good car seat or a stroller. Car seats are, for us, very expensive. Lydia has promised me that she's going to buy me my breast pump before Cambria comes, so I'm not worried about that. My favorite gift from the shower was a hand- knitted baby afghan from Cody's uncle that has Cambria's name knitted onto it. It is so unique and pretty!
Everyone was so generous giving to us and I owe a lot of people some big thank- yous. I had a lot of fun at the shower and it was nice to catch up with everyone. I was really happy that Cody's family made it out for the shower, too.
Tomorrow I'm going to call about signing up for Lamaze classes through my doctor's office. My doctor told me that when you go to classes you get points to get free baby items and I love free baby items! We've been going to parenting classes in Akron every Tuesday night for awhile and we've been able to get some really nice things for free (swing, playmat, onesies, blankets, diapers, dresses, tights, shoes, and more). The classes have been really informative and I like them a lot. So if I get lamaze training and free stuff... bonus!
Today I realized it's only Tuesday and it feels like Sunday is a long time away and 31 weeks will never be here. Then it will never be 32, 33... and getting to 40 will be an eternity. I can't decide if the first trimester or the third is the worst. I would have to say the first probably because of all the wedding chaos and I had a horrible cold. At least in my third trimester I can comfort myself with food.
I wish we could afford for me to take maternity leave, though, because I don't know how I'm going to handle work for much longer. I need the money and so I need the hours, but it's exhausting. The customers can be very sweet sometimes, but it gets old to be hearing "Oh, you're so cute!" when I feel sweaty, tired, swollen, and grumpy. I know they mean well and it's nice of them, but I just want to scream at them, "I don't feel cute! I feel huge! I want this baby out of me!" Instead I smile and thank them politely. Most days I don't feel like smiling and asking them if they need help. I feel like crying and telling everyone else that they need to help me. Any time a customer makes my job more difficult, I want to point at my belly and say, "have some compassion!" Carry your own clothes to the fitting rooms, pick up a shirt if you've dropped it on the floor, don't come to the desk and ask if we have it... go look for it yourself, and be patient if I make a mistake- I'm tired. People I meet on the street are nicer to me than customers that I'm trying to help at work. A woman was waiting to get into the fitting room the other day and she snapped, "Does anybody work here?" If I were these people, I wouldn't be irritating a pregnant woman. It just isn't safe.
I apologize that I complain so much. I'm not usually so rude and I don't usually have such awful thoughts about customers, I'm just really tired of waiting on everyone else while I'm pregnant. Customer service just isn't a job for a pregnant woman. I have been complaining about all my aches and pains, too, and I should just be grateful that God has blessed us with this pregnancy and this little girl that we can't wait to meet. I lose sight of the good things some times and I start to feel very hopeless. Especially when I think of our financial situation and about how long I have left in this pregnancy, I get very depressed. I'm sure many of you scan over such boring, self- loathing blogs, but I guess it's therapeutic for me.
I would like to say, though, that my wonderful husband has been so good to me throughout this pregnancy. If I need a glass of water, he jumps up to get it. If I need a baking- soda bath, he keeps me company while I soak. If I start sobbing for no apparent reason, he's there to cuddle me back to smiles. He has been patient, attentive, and supportive. He happily goes baby shopping with me, reads to Cambria every night, and makes sure all of my food cravings are fulfilled. He goes to every doctor's appointment and parenting class. He buys me maternity underwear :-) and picks out cute maternity shirts for me. It's cliche to say so, but it's like I'm married to a best friend. Every night is a slumber party and everything we do is just a fun day together. We have our arguments and disagreements, but when it comes down to it, there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. I've seen other couples (other girls) whose husbands aren't nearly as supportive and attentive as mine and I know I'm just the luckiest girl in the world. He has made all of the unbearable symptoms of pregnancy a little more tolerable. So, Cody... I love you very much. Thank you for your patience and please keep it up just a little longer... we're almost there!
Less than 10 full weeks to go. I'm going to take a deep breath and focus on the good things.