Tuesday, August 14, 2007


I am not fat. I am not huge. I am not "about to pop". I am not gigantic. I did not swallow a watermelon. I did not swallow a basketball. I am not gaining weight. It's true that Cambria is getting bigger and has gained the necessary weight needed for survival. I am not "getting fat" nor do I look fat. The only weight I have gained is in my belly area. My face hasn't gotten bigger, my legs haven't changed, and I'm NOT FAT. Never use the following words when talking to a pregnant woman: huge, gigantic, fat, overweight. Don't tell her she's going to "pop any day now." Don't tell her she looks like she's due any day. Don't tell her she needs to lay off the potato chips. Even if you're joking... it is NOT funny. It takes a lot of work for a pregnant woman to convince herself that she looks all right some days and when people feel the need to comment on her size/weight gain, it only makes it more difficult. Pregnant women are experiencing an overload of hormones and emotions- we don't need help feeling like we're going to cry. You. Are not. Funny. In fact, you're quite a jerk for saying such things. These are phrases I hear daily:
"You're getting so huge!"
"Look how big you are!"
"Look at that belly!"
"You look like you swallowed a basketball!"
"Stop eating so much watermelon!"
"What have you been eating!?"
"You're just getting bigger every day!"
"Your belly's so huge!"
"You're about to pop!"
Now. Why is it OK to say these things to a woman who is pregnant? It is never OK to say that to a woman who isn't pregnant. Why do strangers feel the need to comment on such things? I know that I am not huge and I know people are joking, but why do they think it's funny? It's bad enough that I have to go through my dresser and try every thing on before I find something that completely covers my stomach. Then I find something and convince myself that it doesn't look too horrible and I go to work. While I'm at work, then, every other customer comments on how huge I am or how tight my shirt is over my stomach. They know that even if it upsets me, I have to be nice.

Even my family is guilty of saying such things. They giggle and make remarks about how big I'm getting. They say things about how much bigger I've gotten in just a week or two. That's the idea! I have to gain weight!

Every one wants to take my picture and I'm tired of it. I'm not a freak show. They ask to take my picture then they say "Nooo, turn to the side!" Doesn't it ever occur to people that I might not want my picture taken? I feel like a freak walking down the street. People stare, whisper, giggle, and even approach me to ask questions. I don't mind when people ask about my due date or if it's a girl/boy or how my pregnancy has gone. I just don't like it when people a) make comments about my size/weight b) tell me their pregnancy horror stories or c) diminish my worries by saying "Oh, it's not that bad." I am no longer a person, I'm just a carrier for a baby. All I am to people is someone to ooh and ahh over. I don't even mind it when people say "Cambria's getting so big!" I'm just tired of all the things people say without thinking.

People think they're funny and they think I can laugh it off. Two months ago, I didn't have a problem pretending to giggle with people. Now, however, it's very old. I'm going to start telling people to please stop saying things about my weight. I don't need to be considerate of their feelings as they are clearly not considerate of mine.


1 comment:

Amber said...

I'm sorry people do that. I think it may be the miracle of life that excites people and makes them want to know all about it and try to share in the excitement- yet it's impossible to know the right thing to say if you haven't been there, and even if you have, i'm sure, because everyone is different. You are beautiful, you were before you were pregnant, and you will be after Cambria is old and grown. Yes, you are a vessel at the moment, but that will soon be over and then you get to worry about people telling you how to raise her ;)

Call me anytime, even if ya just wanna vent. Cody's got the number.