I am truly exhausted and I feel completely hopeless and helpless. I really can't do this anymore. I still have five weeks left and I feel like everyday I'm just waiting to see if she's coming. I have a feeling that she's going to come late and just feeling that way makes me want to cry. I don't want to be like this anymore. I've gotten to the point where I think I don't ever want to have another baby again. I've tried to stay positive, but it's too overwhelming now.
I am sleep deprived and emotional. I am sweaty and irritable. I am hungry all the time and I cannot find comfort. I try to laugh it all off and tell everyone that I'm just waiting, but I don't want to laugh anymore, I want to cry. I find myself getting angry at Cambria and then I get angry at myself for feeling that way. She kicks me so hard in the ribs some times that I honestly wonder if she's going to crack them and it takes my breath away. If I try to lie down for some rest, she moves so much that I just want to scream at her.
It may seem funny to everyone else that I am incapable of doing the easiest of tasks, but the frustration has gotten the best of me. If I drop something on the floor, I have to stand there and look at it until I either get up enough strength and air in my lungs to bend over and pick it up or until someone comes along who can pick it up for me. I don't like depending on everyone for everything. I don't like being this big anymore. Even my maternity clothes don't fit me anymore.
My bladder is a constant source of irritation and pain. It seems like I live in the bathroom anymore and if I'm not in the bathroom my bladder is aching because she's on it and I wish I could pee. Sleeping is impossible anymore because I have to pee so often. I get up to use the restroom and after I empty my bladder, I lie back down and Cambria is more active than ever.
OK. This blog was way longer than this, but then blogger had a malfunction and deleted more than half of it. So that's all you get. Thanks, blogger!