Scent, Ashley Judd, and dreams...

So far, being pregnant is not fun. It's too much to juggle- the exhaustion, the nausea, the cramps, and the stress. I still don't have medicaid and I don't know how to apply for it. My dad said he researched it and put the link online, but I don't see the link, so I don't know how to apply. This is very frustrating because I need to see a doctor and I'm tired of people asking me if I've seen one yet. It's embarrassing that I even need medicaid, so telling people, "no, I don't have health insurance" is like a punch to the gut every time.

Today I slept in until 11:30AM and that's the latest I've slept in since I found out I am pregnant. I set an alarm to get up at 9:30AM to go apply for medicaid, but I couldn't even function at that hour. I know I complain a lot about being tired, but seriously, it's driving me nuts.

Because my sense of smell is as good as a dog's right now, every little scent make me feel like puking. Even if it's something nice, if it is a strong smell, I can't handle it. If the whole house smells like dinner, I have a difficult time eating it. When women come into work and they smell like they're still blowing smoke out of their mouth from their last cigarette, I nearly gag right in front of them. I can't handle that smell normally, but now it's magnified by 1,000x. Last night Cody sat down beside me and I said, "Did you wash your hands with that soap I don't like?" Then later he went upstairs and when he came back and sat down, I said, "Did you put baby lotion on?" He said, "That's creepy." Not only can I smell things but I can identify it instantly. His hands weren't even near my face. And just as a side note: that soap IS disgusting. It's some kitchen herb soap from Bath & Body Works and trust me, it's gross. It smells like you washed your hands in dirt and weeds.

There's an Ashley Judd movie and the name of the film escapes me now, but there's a scene in the movie when she's visiting her doctor. She explains that she read somewhere that the sense of smell is directly connected with memories. She begins crying and begs the doctor to take out her "olfactory" something or other because every time she smells her ex boyfriend's cologne anywhere, she instantly begins crying and can't stop. She says she can't live like that and please to take it out, she knows it can be done. It's actually a pretty funny scene. But that's how I feel, I want my "olfactory something or other" removed until my first trimester is over, then I want it back. But I don't think it's a reversible procedure. Just so you know, he won't take it out.

Another new development is dreaming. I dream every night now, multiple dreams, and I remember most of them. I had a dream that Cody became a crackhead and left me at 8 months pregnant. I dreamt that my friend, Stack, and I got into a fist fight at a restaurant and I gave her a black eye so she sliced me with a knife from the table. I had a dream that my grandma got beat up in a bar (why was she in a bar?) and my grandpa had to go help her and he got beat up too. I had a dream that Cody and I had a fight and I wanted to leave the house, but I didn't have a car, so I grabbed a sled and some drumsticks and scraped my way down the street. I had a dream that my neighbor confessed to me that he was a serial killer and he wanted my family so he kidnapped me. I dreamt that the military invented a flying motorcycle and Cody and I got to test it Harry Potter style. The list goes on and on and on. I dream like crazy and my poor family has to hear about it everyday. I used to dream a lot, but not like this. My person favorite is the drumstick sled dream. Funny stuff.

So that's all. Not a lot is new. I've been really worried about these cramps, but I'm hoping it's nothing to worry about. I hope to see a doctor soon.

I have wedding invitations to address!

-Alicia

PS- the time that it says that I posted this is wrong. I can't figure out how to put it in the right time zone. If you're curious, it's 12:41 PM.