Do I complain too much?... probably.

Tomorrow is another doctor's appointment. We go every week now to see the doctor. Actually, we see a nurse and occasionally the doctor steps in to check on me. Tomorrow they will begin checking for dilation as Cambria is full term now. I almost wish they wouldn't even check for dilating because I know when they tell me that I'm not dilating at all that I will want to cry and beg them to get her out of there. Besides, even if I am dilated it doesn't mean anything really. I don't want them to check me out and say "Well, nothing yet, but soon it will all be over!" I want them to say, "Wow, you're dilated a gazillion centimeters, we better go to the hospital and have this baby!"

In case you couldn't tell, I'm basically miserable. My hemorrhoids cleared up weeks ago (thank God), but I'm to the point of exhaustion nonetheless. I've been having what I think is round ligament pains and they can get very intense. The pain feels like a sharp spasm in my lower abdomen and it shoots into my groin/hip area. Usually the pain only lasts for a few seconds, but it is so unexpected and sharp that I sometimes let out a little shout of surprise. If I bend over and lift my stomach up from underneath it usually eases the pain a little, but soon after, it's followed by another jab. Oddly enough, after the pain goes away, Cambria moves around a lot and of course that adds to my discomfort.

My motto for this pregnancy (actually, it should be a motto for any pregnancy) is "If it's not one thing, it's another." Yesterday morning I woke up very early to a very intense charlie horse (leg cramp). I laid in bed, half asleep, and tried to rub it out. Finally, when I was near tears, the pain let up and left my leg feeling tense and sore. I fell back asleep and a couple hours later I was awakened by a charlie horse in the other leg. I sat up and tried to rub it out, but the pain was so unbearable I couldn't stay quiet. Cody woke up because I was groaning and he kindly rubbed it out for me as I fought tears. The cramp went away and then both my legs were very sore, weak, and tense. Naturally, because it was morning, I had to pee very badly so Cody had to help me limp up the stairs into the bathroom. I sat down on the couch afterward and I got a cramp in my foot. I had to stand on my tip-toes despite the aching in my calf to try to get the cramp out of my foot. Later in the day I had to work a 6- hour shift on my achy legs. By the end of the day I was begging God to just let Cambria come already. So yes, if it isn't hemorrhoids, it's hip pain, if it isn't hip pain, it's round ligament pains, if it isn't round ligament, then it's braxton hicks (false contractions), if it's not that, then it's leg cramps, headaches, back aches, heartburn, exhaustion, mood swings,... general discomfort! My mind has turned into mush.

So if I'm finally pain- free and having an OK time, then I have to deal with a customer who brings it all right back to "frustrating" for me. There is a woman who comes into the store regularly and the last time she was in and she was just going nuts telling me that I was having a boy and not a girl. I think I wrote about her before. She kept saying, "I'm never wrong! I'm NEVER wrong! It's not a girl! You're having a boy for sure!" Well, that irritated me and I told her repeatedly that it's a girl. Yesterday she came in again and on her way out, she said "Your baby's due in a few days, right?" I said, "Still a couple weeks." She looked at my stomach and said, "Such a big boy!" and started laughing maniacally. I took a deep breath and said, "It's a girl." She continued laughing and said, "Remember last time I was in?! I'm still SO shocked!" I smiled sarcastically and said, "Yes, I remember." For the rest of the evening I had multiple customers telling me that it's a boy.

Another regular customer (whom I usually don't mind at all) came in and said "Look at those feet!" very loudly. I looked down at my swollen feet and said, "Yeah, I know." She said, "You are pretty swollen!" I wanted to call her "Captain Obvious", but I just grinned and nodded my head. People are rude, blunt, and obnoxious. Julia, a girl I was working with, pointed out that if I weren't pregnant customers would seem to have nothing to say to me. I told her that I couldn't wait for that day.

I was supposed to work at 3PM- 9:30 PM tonight, but I'm just so exhausted and achy that I called Kris (another associate) and she's going to come in at 5:30PM and work the rest of my shift for me. I know I need the hours and we need the money, but I need the rest since I work tomorrow morning. I just don't want to be pregnant anymore!

I'm going to go lie down for awhile before I have to get ready for my short shift. But alas, I remembered, I have to do some laundry first! Oh it never ends.

-Alicia